Josef and Julia, Part V

28 July, 2003 || 21:23

Setting: a popular, smoky coffee house near campus. Our heroes are sitting on the nasty old couches under the stairs.

Author's Note: I just discovered how to do html italics. Isn't that shibby? I'm so good. I also taught myself a couple of months ago how to do links. Who's da man?

Addendum: Yeah, right. We all know I'm a dumbass. I really did figure this stuff out though. It only took me, oh, FIFTEEN MONTHS.

Julia: Well, I don't care, Annie Lennox would still kick Cher's surgically enhanced booty in a cagefight with no weapons other than a Phillips screwdriver and a gas-powered...

Josef: [interrupts] I hate to disrupt your dazzling riposte, Julia, but it looks as though Jérôme needs our help.

Janet: Oh don't tell me that the Creepy Little Psych Student from Illinois is hitting on him again.

Jared: That appears to be the case. Didn't he figure out that Jérôme is hetero by now?

Josef: I doubt it most sincerely, because of how you rescued him last time.

Jared: You say that as though it's my fault. We all could've avoided that hideous debacle if you'd simply sent Julia or Janet. But NO, you had to make ME do it. You know, they still won't let me in that club.

Janet: As though a couple gallons of Clorox wouldn't've taken care of the bile stains. Whatever, we need to do something about him, now.

Jared: Count me out. I like this place, and I'm not getting blacklisted here as well. I also don't like the smell of burnt hair, and I got quite enough of that last time.

Julia: You say that like it didn't grow back. Ok, paper, rock, scissors on three. One, two, three!

Julia and Janet simultaneously: YES!

Josef: Dammit! ... You know, this isn't going to do anything to convince this guy that our favorite man-ho is straight.

Jared, Julia, and Janet, simultaneously: So?

Josef: [sigh]

Josef walks over to the counter, where everyone's favorite man-ho, Jérôme, is trying desperately to escape the clutches of the CLiPS.

Josef: [to CLiPS] Back off Babe, the boy belongs to me. [Proceeds to drape himself over Jérôme's left shoulder]

CLiPS: Bitch. [Leaves]

Jérôme: Thank you, but next time send someone with boobs.

Josef: What, mine aren't perky enough?