Menudo and Drugs Galore!

03 April, 2003 || 17:18

The Power Rangers. What ever happened to them? I wouldn't care usually, but I just found out today the answer: they're still around. Surprise! My roommate, who doesn't watch it, but is just generally knowledeable about many things, including pop culture, told me they keep changing it. They are the Menudo of children's television. Ick. I am so ashamed to admit that years ago, I actually liked that show. [sigh] Which in no way at all leads me to my next topic: Ai ya! my room is a pharmacy! I've taken more and more kinds of drugs in the last three weeks than the last three *years*! Damned sinus infection. A list:

1: NyQuil. As Lewis Black called it: "the moonshine of medicine. That stuff is 180 proof. What, what do you take? Robitussin? Non-narcotic sissy pansy bulls***. NyQuil comes in two flavors: red and green. It's the only thing in the world that tastes like *red* and *green*. And you know what those are? Christmas colors! That's right, NyQuil makes a *dandy* eggnog. Oh, you should hear my friends bitch throughout the party. 'This tastes like s***!' But at the end of it, we had a fun sleepover. NyQuil came on the market in 1977 and I was there. It had a little nurse's cap on it. If I had a nurse, I wouldn't need the medicine. So I took it off and drank the whole thing. Well, back then they didn't have the warning about operating farm equipment. I woke up three days later. I was standing outside the courthouse in Rockville, Maryland, a town I'd never been to, and I was married to a woman I'd never met. But dammit, I could breathe again."

Amount: a bottle and a half in a week.

2: DayQuil. Because I needed relief, and also to be awake.

Amount: two bottles in a week.

3: Robitussin. Ironic, ne? I thought I was getting addicted to the DayQuil, and needed a change.

Amount: three-quarters of a bottle in a week.

4: Motrin Sinus Headache. To make up for what the DayQuil did that the Robitussin didn't.

Amount: only two or three because of

5: Benadryl. It was suggested to me maybe I needed an antihistamine?

Amount: only the couple of doses, because I ran out.

6: NyQuil Cough. Because I ran out of NyQuil and needed more, and this cough is horrible.

Amount: only two or three doses. I don't want to get addicted to this either. That and I've not had it as long.

7: Chlor-Trimeton. Needed a better antihistamine.

Amount: four 12-hour doses in two days. You do the math.

8: Pe Min Kan Wan Allergy Supplement. In the hopes that maybe I was just suffering from allergies.

Amount: four pills, becuase the next day I went to the doctor again and found out I had a sinus infection, which led to the prescription of:

9: Tessalon Pearls. For the cough that all the drainage was causing. They say it's imperative you don't chew it, otherwise you'll've sucked on a local anesthetic, and won't be able to control your mouth for about 8 hours.

10: Doxycycline. An antibiotic.

11: Ibuprofen. I went with plain Motrin IB.

12: 24-hour Sudafed. For removing and preventing said drainage.

Wow. That was the first time I counted. A dozen drugs, four of which I'm taking regularly at once. Ai ya. I give you all permission to nickname me "Pharmacist" or "Pusher" or "Nick" (it's from the movie "The Big Chill") or some other drug-related name. I'll be too strung out to respond.