Drugs, Sex, Love, and Disco, no questions asked.

2002-06-27 || 10:42 a.m.

I'd love to write a book. I've been thinking a lot about it. I've got some wonderful ideas, and I thought that the basic plot was very new and original. Guy wakes up in totally unfamiliar surroundings, nobody in sight, so he goes looking. It goes from there. I shortly found out that, while I expected it had been done a few times before, it hadn't. Apparently it's a very tired story. What's a guy to do then?

I decided to be deliberately unoriginal. I'll do a send-up of every old, re-hashed, re-re-hashed plot there ever was, and make fun of Oprah at the same time (also not original). But, in true Texas fashion, I'll do it bigger. There'll be a serial mass murderer on the loose in Houston. There'll be three families duking it out for business dominance, and each one thinks the other has killed one of their family, and goes out for revenge. There'll be a love septagon with at least two people pretending to be members of the opposite sex. There will be alcohol, drugs, and disco. Each family will come together during the hard times and they'll be closer than ever as Uncle Ted dies slowly after a car accident. They'll then unite in their hatred of the other families, and kill each other in gang-style violence. But, as happy endings are required for any movie in America (you thought this was only a book? Hah! I said I was taking this thing big.), they will learn to appreciate each other's differences and unite just before everyone's dead in their hatred of Oprah.